How to Be the Most Valuable Caffeinator at Mother’s Day Brunch
It’s
a perfect Sunday morning. The blackout curtains are drawn closed. Not a
single streak of sunlight pokes through. Flogging Molly blares from
every speaker in your home. You move around the kitchen, preparing your
first—most glorious—cup of coffee.
That’s when a lightbulb clicks on in your brain.
You check the date on your ‘Cute Puppies at Coffee Shops’ calendar and discover you’re right—today’s the day you planned to have brunch with your mom and her friends. She’s calling it a luncheon, but you know the truth. It’s just her excuse to drink mimosas and eat French toast sticks, fried macaroni and cheese balls at the same time.
It’s time to break out the big boy (or girl) pants and prepare to act like a semi-functioning adult.
Down a Strong Cup of Coffee Before You Leave the House
It might be tempting to rush into the shower and clean yourself up, but this is a crucial time for coffee drinking. Before any situation like this, coffee with high caffeine comes first. It may even take the edge off and help you cope with the fact that all your clean clothes are currently in the washing machine.
Order Coffee for the Whole Table
When you get to the brunch (or luncheon), order a round of coffee for everyone. Make a big gesture out of it to distract your mom from the coffee T shirt you decided to wear to her semi-formal outing. The good news is, you were at least able to find one clean coffee tee when everything else was in the washer—otherwise, you might be shirtless.
Give Your Mom a Gift—Her Favorite Coffee
If your round of coffee for the table didn’t sufficiently distract your mom, now’s the time to give her a gift—the gift of strong coffee. You could even make the gift kind of sweet and get her some chocolate-covered coffee beans instead of straight-up coffee.
Gosh, you are so considerate. You even opened the container to test it for her—what a sweetheart.
Drink Enough Coffee to Have a Conversation
If you have to order another cup of coffee to hold a whole conversation with your mom’s friends, then do it. You might have to skip the screwdriver at the luncheon, but it’s a matter of life and death. Maybe you pack an extra can of your favorite cold brew to keep you going. Miranda, the real talker, might bring up the one time she changed your diaper back in nineteen-whatever, but just keep sipping. There’s always enough of your favorite strong coffee to get you through it.
Try Not to Spill Anyone’s Drink—Including Your Own
Brunches with all the ladies can get a little wild (especially if Mom dragged your dad along). One of the biggest blunders you could make here is to spill a drink—anyone’s drink. Your cold brew, your mom’s mimosa, your sister’s chai latte, your great aunt Tabitha’s scotch on the rocks, it doesn’t matter. And Odin forbid you spill your dad’s cup of joe. That dark roast is the only thing preventing him from going full WWE.
Whether you’re preparing for Mother’s Day or a simple (not-so-simple) ladies’ luncheon with your mom and her friends, you can always squeeze in some last-minute preparations, including a cup of coffee. This sort of prep is critical when you need something with the most caffeine coffee delivers. Keep a stash of your strongest stuff for those Sundays when you know they’ll be serving the wimpy coffee or when you know you’ll need to sneak in a can of highly caffeinated cold brew. Everyone’s sure to thank you for making the day feel so special.
About Death Wish Coffee Co.
Get a cup of the strong stuff when you brew with beans from Death Wish Coffee Company. Death Wish Coffee Co. serves up strong, USDA Certified Organic, Fair Trade coffee and merch to suit every palette. They are committed to providing the World’s Strongest Coffee, which not only jolts you into the world of the living with top-tier caffeine content but also tastes ridiculously good. From the OG Dark Roast to the new Medium Roast to Cold Brew, Latte, Death Cups, Valhalla Java and more, Death Wish Coffee provides a smooth, flavorful, delicious coffee that will give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning.
To prepare for any less-than-ideal scenario, get coffee from https://www.deathwishcoffee.com/

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